There is always this one person in your life that you wish would never leave you. You try really hard to keep that person as close to you as possible, only to realize that somehow that person has slipped right out. And there is nothing to bring them back. In my case it was not my lover but you can say ‘Crush’.
Back in 1999 when I was 16, there was this girl who I was crazy about. It was summer vacation and I had enrolled for 12th tuitions. That’s where I saw her first. It was a magical moment. I was standing with a couple of friends eating vada pav- my all time favourite junk food. I bit into the soft bread, the tangy chutney just tickling my taste buds when she arrived in full flourish. I was awestruck by her presence. Just when I was ogling at the beauty I bit into a very hot vada. As fate would have it I could not swallow or spit and made a complete fool out of myself. Ok…. May be it was not that magical but let me assure you, there was not one head which didn’t turn in her direction. She was looking glorious in the yellow-green Punjabi suit.
It was probably a month after the first time I saw her that I got to speak with her, and let me tell you… I sucked… Words just didn’t come out and I was again coming out off as an idiot.
We were from rival schools. Now, I’m not going to name the school but anyone who knows where I am from probably knows there are only two schools whose rivalry is famous. But somehow that rivalry never showed up when we talked. Finally after many failed attempts I succeeded in making her smile. And from then on I was easy. I could be myself around her. She made me feel comfortable. She started spending time with me and my friends were jealous. I could tell that. Other girls who never spoke with me suddenly started to strike a conversation. Probably only to find out why the hot chick is with someone unattractive like me.
We spoke on the phone. We were very good buddies. Although I was madly in love with her, I could not tell her because she was going around with a guy from my school. I wished many time that she would be mine. She said that she would always be my friend. After my board exams I got to see less and less of her. Even the phone calls trickle d down to just one phone call in a year to wish her on her birthday. She somehow forgot very conveniently that people are born so they have birthdays. Of the 8 years that I’ve known her, she didn’t wish me once on my birthday.
After the board exams we went our different ways, I studied science, she…. Well, I really don’t know. But we met again. The year was 2003 for our Graduation exams. She was truly an angel. Maybe a bad one but angel none the less.
The mayhem of those old feelings surged from deep below, gripping me tightly. I felt like I was 16 again. I wanted to talk to her, wanted to make her laugh. I wanted to look into those deep black eyes. But she was now with another boy named ‘Abu’ or something like that. I hated his guts.
Finally in the year 2008 when I called her on her birthday she said the worst thing anyone could ever think of. She said…”you know something, the reason I don’t call anymore is because my boyfriend is very possessive. He does not like me talking to any male friends.”
Accepted…. From that moment I never called again.
Some part of me still wants her, still adores her and still wishes that she were mine. If there was any chance of getting one wish fulfilled, I know what I would ask…. A CHANCE TO MEET HER AGAIN.
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