My Best Friend..!!

We do realize the value of friends when we are all alone. I love to be alone yet today I feel all the more lonely. I feel like its not worth living anymore.





It was raining this morning and I went upstairs. The open Terrace seemed to invite me, to share its loneliness. I could sense a bit of calm in the morning rain. It was quiet... very quiet.. no kids shouting.. no drilling.. no honking horns.. no dogs barking.. no birds chirping.... just eerie silence. All I could hear was the steady beats of my heart and the sound of raindrops landing all around me..!!

I looked down.. I wondered what it would be like if I jumped. Would I die or survive with a few fractures or be paralyzed and live like a fucking vegetable... not that I'm doing a great job living anyways...!!! They say, "There is a difference between Living and Surviving"... but, how the fuck am I supposed to know when all I do is - be a burden on self and others. I think the concept of Mercy Killing should be legalized. I don't understand this thing about cops arresting you when you attempt a suicide. I mean, Its my life, ain't it? I'm free to do what I fucking want with it..!!! I tried to think positive. Reminded me of the quote, "When Life Gives You Lemons.. Don't Make a Fuckin' Lemonade.. Ask For Tequila and Salt.." But drinking seldom helps. You drink all you want and get on others nerves..!! Its fucking disgusting..!!


My thoughts thankfully were interrupted my a sudden gush of blood chilling cold breeze. Death has cold hands, I've been told. I moved away from the edge of the terrace, wondering how it would feel to see Death right in the eye!!!! Confused thoughts remained with me even when I came back to my room... What the fuck is wrong with me??? I decided to do something other than just sitting my ass in front of the laptop. I cleaned the room which took nearly 2 hours.!! Time well spent I thought!!! I showered and wondered, what to do next..!!! I needed to do something to avoid getting into depression or worse, having a fucking nervous breakdown. I decided to play some games on my Laptop, however after 8 minutes of mindless games, I got bored...!!!


Just then, I saw my pack of Cigarettes.. I have been trying hard to reduce smoking... I had been successful in cutting down from 20 cigarettes to 4-6 cigarettes a day. The urge to smoke was overpowering. I lit the cigarette and suddenly felt better. As I inhaled, i felt the warm smoke rush to my oxygen deprived lungs!!!! I was no more alone. I had the company of my Cigarettes, and I loved it...









Who says that Friends have to be Human???!!!!!



Warning: Cigarette Smoking is Injurious to You and All Around You. Think Twice before you light up!!!