“Fuck”, I muttered.
It was a long and tiring tour. Not to mention, it was unfruitful. After having travelled for 7 hours, to meet with a client who kept me waiting for 2 hours, I was on the edge of restlessness and remorse.
Work was only one of the reasons for my frustration. Yes, there were other reasons too. I was fast approaching 30… I was still single, career was down in the dumps, I was not dating, I didn’t have many friends and to top it all, my parents were trying to set me up with a girl I didn’t even know. Life didn’t really turn out the way I dreamt. All I wanted was someone to hold my hand when I was feeling rotten (or happy) and loads of money to buy all the materialistic things I could imagine. Turns out, I dumped the girl who loved me more than anything else in this sadist world. Not to mention, I was downright broke. It was the 27th of the month and all I had was 97 rupees in my bank account.
“Fuck”, I said a little louder this time.
I was at Swargate in Pune, waiting in the queue to purchase a ticket back to Thane, my home-town. The gentleman before me turned behind to give a look of disapproval. I muttered an apology and hung my head down. My mind traced back the events of the day and it did not help. I felt more miserable… lonelier… more useless. I thought of Nisha, the girl I loved but could not marry because I was commitment phobic. I realized how much she tried to convince me that we could have a great life together and how we could be happy no matter what. I smiled when I thought about her silly ways. She could make me smile on the worst day of my life. I remembered how she used to call me Golu and made jokes about my protruding belly. I subconsciously touched my belly and smiled. It was like she was right there besides me… but the reality hit me right away. Nisha was no longer mine, she was married, happy and mother of two beautiful girls. The smile faded and frown took its place. I realized how the lonely frown never left my face. It was as though Nisha took away all the smiles as her parting gift leaving behind abundant frowns.
The guy behind me gently tapped my shoulder. I hurriedly came to my senses. He signaled me to move forward as the queue has progressed. I moved ahead. After what seemed like eternity, I reached the ticket window. “One ticket to Thane,” I said. “That will be Three Hundred and Twenty Rupees Sir,” the lady ticketing authority told me. I handed over the money, took the ticket and proceeded towards the bus. I secretly hoped that I would be sitting alone. I didn’t want anyone sitting beside me. I entered the bus and a wild gush of cold air-conditioned artificial breeze hit my face. It felt rejuvenating after having spent nearly 9 hours in the hot Pune sun. All that travelling had taken its toll. My sleep deprived eyes were bloodshot, hair messy and the strip-brown silk, ironed tucked-in shirt was creased and no longer tucked-in. I was a mess… life was a mess. The hope of travelling back to Thane with nobody besides me was shattered when I saw her.
She looked at me and smiled. There was something about that smile. It was real. It was comforting. I smiled back at her and pointed to the pink leather bag which she had kept on my seat. “Oh… I’m sorry,” she said and hurriedly picked up the bag and kept it on her lap. “I thought I would not be sharing the seat,” she smiled again. And this time the smile was even wider. She had prefect teeth I thought. “It’s all right. I thought so too,” I replied. I casually looked at my wrist-watch. It was almost 10.50 PM. The bus was scheduled to depart at 11 PM. I needed a smoke. This one would have been my 34th cigarette of the day. Aching legs didn’t want me to leave the plush comforting seat but my brain suggested otherwise. I placed my backpack in the overhead compartment.
“I’ll be back in 5 minutes, do you need anything?” I was surprised I was asking a woman I had just met if she wanted something.
She shook her head.
No.
I turned to leave.
“Oh…” she said suddenly.
I looked back. “Yes?”
“Would you be kind enough to get me a bottle of mineral water?” She asked and started digging in her purse for money.
“It’s ok, I’ll get it.” I said and came out for a smoke. The air was surprisingly cool. I lit the cigarette. I could feel the nicotine and carbon monoxide laden smoke fill my lungs. As I exhaled, I could feel a sense of calm take over me. This is what death might feel like. I shook my head trying to brush away negative thoughts. Yeah, I had been feeling suicidal over the past few months. A cluster of random thoughts started emerging but I was too tired and too pre-occupied for them to make any sense.
I bought a bottle of water for her and a bottle of cold drink for me and boarded the bus. Soon the bus began its 3 and a half hour journey back home. She fiddled with her cell phone for a while. I could see her getting restless. I removed the headphones; not that I was listening to music or anything. Sometimes I just liked to put on my headphones and pretend that I was listening to music so people didn’t bother me. Yes, I was turning into a loner.
“Is it ok for you to be travelling this late? We would be reaching Thane by 2.30 AM.” I asked.
“Yeah, I guess”, she replied.
Her reply was short and curt. I put my headphones back on started listening to music. Backstreet Boys started singing, ‘I’ll never break your heart…’ My mind took me back 5 years. This was the song which had got Nisha and me close. I closed my eyes and let the music hurt my soul. I let myself slip into remorse.
After having travelled for about an hour and a half, the driver decided to stop at a food court in Lonavla for a quick bite and some tea. “Twenty minutes,” he announced. “The ladies washroom is on the left and the gent’s urinal is on the right. Please do not pee in the open fields.” Some people let out a silent laugh.
I got down. My appetite had vanished. I purchased a coupon for tea, proceeded towards the tea dispenser and presented the coupon to the attendant. He filled up a disposable plastic cup with what looked like brown colored hot water, added some milk and handed it over to me. “Next” he called out loud as if to dismiss me from his presence.
“So much for customer service these days…” I muttered.
I walked towards the open fields. Backpack hung on my shoulders. I didn’t want to leave the backpack in the bus. The instructions said clearly, “Please do not leave your valuables like Laptop, Mobile, and Wallets in the bus. We are not responsible for the loss of your valuable items.” I had a cigarette in one hand and the plastic cup of watery tea in the other. I casually glanced towards the coupon counter. I saw her opening a packet of Lays. Instead of walking around admiring the dark nothingness of the Lonavla night skies, she preferred sitting at a table, sipping her coffee and devouring the packet of Onion and Cream flavored potato chips.
I went back to looking at the dark sky devoid of the moon or the stars. When Nisha and I were together, we used to frequently visit Manori Island in Malad. The surf and sand and the scenery was breath-taking. We used to hold hands while walking on the wet sand. I could have lived forever with her by my side. We used to rent a cottage and spend a quiet evening together. We used to make love.
“I love you Nisha,” I said fully knowing that Nisha was miles away from me.
“Excuse me, can you tell me how long it will take to reach Thane?” It was the stranger from the bus who sat beside me. I was not sure if she heard me talking to myself, declaring my love for my ex.
“About an hour and a half more,” I said. I tried to hide the cigarette behind my back. I didn’t really care if people judged me. But this time it was different. She looked at me and smiled again. “It’s ok; you can smoke in front of me. I won’t judge,” she said as if she read my thoughts.
I smiled back. It was a little uncomfortable. There was something really strange about all this. I guess she too sensed the awkwardness of the situation and stepped back. “I think I will go back in the bus,” she announced. I watched her turn her back and walk towards the bus. She was wearing a loose fitted floral dress and a scarf.
I was relieved that she left me to my thoughts. I sipped on the tasteless tea, dropped the halfway smoked cigarette on the dusty road and traced the way back to bus. As I approached the seat, I saw her eyes welled with tears. She held her Iphone in one hand and tightly clutched her pink purse with the other. The tears were just about to cross the threshold of her eyes. She caught me looking at her and hurriedly wiped off the tears and put away the phone.
Like any other male human species, I had no idea what to do with a emotionally feeble member of the opposite sex sitting beside me. Just then I realized that we were in Lonavla. Something inside me told me that I had to give her some ‘Alone’ time. I got out of the bus. The driver was smoking what smelled like marijuana wrapped up in a cigarette… (Yeah, I have had my share of wild night-outs). I looked at him and singled ‘2 minutes’. I assume the driver was not given any ‘Customer Service’ training. He totally ignored me. I heard him shot, “Jaldi aao.. gaadi late ho jaayegi” meaning – Come soon else we will be late.
I sprinted towards the counter and purchased a box of Jelly Candies. I remember I used to absolutely adore them as a child. Bright colored jelly candies made from fresh fruit… at least, that is what they advertised. After having purchased them, I sprinted back towards the bus. The driver had already honked the horn twice. I was almost out of breath by the time I reached my seat. I plopped down waiting for the heart-beat to regularize. Made a mental note for myself that I needed to start exercising.
I looked at her. She was looking out the window. The bus was speeding along at 80 kmph. There was nothing much to see, just darkness. I’ve always felt a sense of calm take over me when I stare into the darkness. “Excuse me,” I said only loud enough for her to hear. She looked at me. I handed over the box of jelly candies to her. “Chocolates can be soothing,” I continued. She gave me the widest smile and took an orange colored candy. “No, no… take them all. I have to watch my weight,” I said. My mind sub-consciously ordered my hand to touch my tummy. “Thanks,” she said and gladly accepted the box of over sweetened jelly. “Why did you get chocolates?” She asked. “Well,” I replied, “I know that diamonds are the girl’s best friend. But I was super low on cash… hence the chocolates.” I could not help but laugh at my own silly joke.
I put the headphones back on. Turned off the overhead lamp and closed my eyes. After a minute or so, she tapped my shoulder
“What are you listening to?”
“Actually, I’m not listening to anything,” I replied honestly.
“Do you like music?” She asked.
“Kind of… I haven’t changed my playlist since 2 years. I am a huge fan of Linkin Park actually. ‘In The End’ happens to be my all time favorite.
She smiled again. I could see her face clearly under the dim overhead lights which she decided to leave on. Our eyes met briefly. She was very beautiful. She had an unreal gleam in her eyes. It was either pure innocence or deep discontent… I could not really say. But the chocolates seemed to cheer her up.
Within no time, we were chatting. She loved to talk. She loved to cook, read, sing, dance, do adventure sports and lot of other things. I soon started growing fond of her. She knew what she was saying. She asked me about my likes and dislikes. We spoke about politics, sports and even gay rights. I looked at the chocolate box, it was almost empty. I had done a good job I thought to myself.
All of a sudden, she touched my arm and said, “You have been very nice to me today. Thanks. Can I have a picture of you?”
I must admit, I was a little surprised but said yes anyways. She clicked my picture and showed it to me. It looked horrible. I told her to delete it but she denied. She said something about remembering me the way I met her and how it meant the world to her. I was really touched by the emotional melodrama. I let her keep the picture.
Note to the Reader: Here the story has two different endings. You can read Ending 1 if you are a mystery lover
You can read Ending 2 if you are a die-hard romantic.
Or you could simply read both the endings and judge for yourself what you like best.
Ending Number 1 – The Judgment
“Is that all you have to say Mr. Patil?” Mr. Sawant asked.
Without looking at him, I nodded my head. Yes.
“My Lord,” Mr. Sawant continued, “The accused himself has admitted that he was involved in drugging and stealing the poor victim’s belongings; specifically, a pink leather bag containing cash of Rupees One Lakh and jewellery worth Rupees three lakh. The accused has been operation off Pune Mumbai Highway carefully selecting his victims. The accused used to offer drugged jelly candies to the fellow passengers and looting them of their belongings”
“The accused has been duping unsuspecting victims since 5 years.” Mr. Sawant continued. “Thanks to the support of Mumbai Police and Pune Police department, we were able to nab the notorious criminal red-handed. Ms. Kini who gladly volunteered to act as the bait had indeed done a commendable job. Educated people like Mr. Patil have taken up crime which is a shame. My Lord, I would request you to pass on a judgment which will make sure that anyone who decides to get into the world of crime thinks of the consequences first. That’s all My Lord.”
I could feel every single pair of eyes looking at me with utter disgust. I could feel the judge looking down on me.
“6 Years….” is all I heard. The rest was all blurred out. I felt numb. I could feel the policeman handcuff me and take me away.
“6 years is long enough to plan another undetectable crime,” I said to myself and smiled.
~The End~
Ending Number 2 – The Truth
As we spoke, we realized that we had far too many similarities. She had the most beautiful brown eyes. She spoke with authority and her conversations were spell binding. I wished I could spend some more time listening to her. She didn’t have a ring on her finger or a mangal-sutra around her neck.
Thane was fast approaching. The roads were deserted and washed with the flood of yellow lights from the sodium lamps. We exchanged numbers and emails and she promised that she would be in touch. I was thrilled.
The bus pulled into the depot and the driver called out, “Chala, last stop”
We got down from the bus and proceeded towards the auto-rickshaw stand.
“Ok, I have been meaning to ask,” I looked at her and said.
“Why was I crying?” She knew what I was about to ask.
“Ya.” I said.
She took out her phone and showed me a text message.
“It’s from my son,” she said.
The message read, “Congratulations Mom, Aarti delivered a baby girl. You are a Grandmother now. Come to Mumbai soon, Love, Aakash.”
For some strange reason I felt happy too. A brief thought of me getting married crossed my mind. I led her to the first auto in line. She made herself comfortable and gave the address to the driver.
“Oh, by the way,” I said, “you didn’t tell me your name.”
“Its Nisha…” she said as the rickshaw took off.
~The End~
It's almost 7:00 PM. The bright red LEDs on the railway indicator displays, "07:03 PL S". I am sitting at platform number 3 on Sanpada railway station. In 3 minutes the slow train for Panvel will arrive. Indian railways are never on time, but today is an exception. I have been sitting here for the past 30 minutes and all trains were on time..!!
"I won't trouble you from tomorrow..." That statements hurts like hell. Why does being in love have to be so painful? I look at her. Her freckled face is flawless. Her smile is intoxicating. I smile at her. "I was looking at the time so that I knew how much longer I can enjoy your mesmerizing company," I say. She looks at me and laughs, "Liar..", she says, "Ok listen, don't forget me and keep in touch ok?" Her words are no longer soothing. The more she speaks, the heavier my heart feels. The lump in my throat fells like a size of a rock. 
looks at me and says, "Chalo, the train has come... will call you.." She got up and flung her bag on her shoulder. "Nisha," I say, "There is something you ought to know.." She stops and says, "Arre gadhedo.. from the past half an hour you couldn't say anything, now you want to say. I am leaving.. bye.." 
Her eyes are a little misty. She says, "Yeah, even I thought a handshake is too formal. Here is a hug.." She smiles and opens her arms wide.. we hug. I would never want to let her go. I feel a overwhelming sense of unexplainable feeling engulf me. I close my eyes. I can hear my office colleagues cheering on, some even whistling.
